| HAHA! |
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| 07:25am 25/04/2004 |
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i never update and after this post i will continue to never update, but alas i am suffering from excessive lack of amusement right now so im updating HAHA! im in english and i am being talked about Maureen and Lindsay say "hi" to me lindsay is always tired...yes o wait correction shes "sick" she is. thats enuf about lindsay there needs to be more about me but i have nothing to say for myself so ill just say this...
"somethimes i think what if i was a little shrimp?" - Ms. Hasz
HAHA!
end scene |
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| 04:05pm 22/03/2004 |
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mood:  satisfied music: radio commercials- 95.5 KLOS
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tight-ass weekend
pics will b included soon
fri- cheesecake w/ tiffy & christy...lotsa laughter to say the least
sat- softball: we lost and i didnt play well but we got food, went w/ chloe & her friend to a party...good times there, met some awsome ppl, slept at chloes
sun- motherfuckin beach man, bombass time: went to zooma, sand surfed? went to the pier, ate, played games, rides, watched a talented asian man, slept at chex's righteous abode
2day- walked to starbucks, dvds, got picked up & went to lunch, nap
"everyone is naked...with out their clothes on"
and...SCENE! |
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| just another "feeling sorry for my own ass" entry |
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| 11:22pm 18/03/2004 |
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not looking for sympathy just venting to clear my mind
id like to tell people ive changed so much since middle school and in many ways i have but one of the most shameful things that has not changed about me is that i am stil self destructive- however not in the same way, not physical, but mental. everyday i hurt myslef by not working to reach the goals i have set for myself that i want to achieve so badly. i continue to ignore all my responsabilities and let myslef get caught up in any distraction. in the long run im limiting my posibilities for my future. the sad part is im always aware im doing this but i am apparently too lazy to change.
huge thanx to marisa, a true friend, u no wut its for |
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| 09:50pm 14/03/2004 |
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any1 who reads this add norma_is_tight as a friend |
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| because my fellow native american needs something to occupy herself |
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| 10:22pm 11/03/2004 |
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here, fill this out it should keep u busy for a little while, be funny or serious w/e u want, if u cant figure out how just im me
_____Becca.
Becca is ______.
If I were alone in a room with Becca, I would _________.
I think Becca should _______.
Becca needs ________.
I want to ____________ Becca.
Becca reminds me of _______.
Without Becca, _______.
Memories of Becca are _________.
My best memory of Becca is_________.
Becca can be __________.
Worst thing about Becca is _________.
Best thing about Becca is _________.
I am ________ with Becca. |
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| its so damn hot |
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| 09:33pm 09/03/2004 |
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mood:  aggravated music: Scapegoat- Atmosphere
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wish i had more pictures to post so my journal would be worth checking
i have a few nice things to report but i wont cause no1 reads this and im not in chipper mood therefore i cannot bring myself to type chipper material
its so tiring how some people think that they can cut u off from them and then invite u back into their lives when wut ever it was they had going for them gets boring
god damn im so just pissed these last few days, its sux when u try to let urself get caught up in the moment and relax but all the shit ur have to deal with is weighing you down, people ask, friends ask, parents ask, everyone asks u wuts wrong/wuts going on w/ u and all you can do is lie tell everyone something different cause ur already trying to cover so much up, lately its a constant fight to not let myself realize how much im screwing myself over, or any1 else for that matter
im just jealous of people who are doing their work, doing something with themselves and are still able to have fun and let loose, i just cant stand the person im becoming these days, disappointing myself and i have no respect for anyone who dares to admire me, i figure if they do they must not no much about me |
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| im the other white meat known as kid funky fried |
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| 11:30pm 04/03/2004 |
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mood:  exhausted music: The Roof Is On Fire- Bloodhound Gang
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1st scrimage s-ball game = glorious and victorious
so im pretty stoked i got to play the whole game and it just feels good to be on a team again, "the roof is on fire, we dont need no water let the mother fucker burn"
yeasterday anne turned sixteen so kudos 2 her for uh...staying alive that long?
i have a hippie sleeping in the room adjacent to mine right now... she likes to share random photographs of elephants with me at the early hours of the morning
i can tell im not going to get much sleep this weekend, hopefully ill get my ass to the movies, got a four hour det. to serve on sat...yes!
its late and my hair needs a straightnen
*exit stage right* |
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| meaningless banter |
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| 07:29pm 25/02/2004 |
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mood: calm music: The Nearness Of You- Ella Fitzgerald, Louie Armstrong
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the rain sets a nice mood doesn't it?
It doesn't count does it?
That you and I could get lost in time
After the compatable, delightfully akward hours spent on the phone
Your juvenile laughter, my sarcastic tone
You say she brings out the best in you
Yea...I ache to admit its true
But sweety I've seen you backstage
Out of the spotlight of perfection
I was there that night you stepped out of that bath of pride they drown you in
You were a stark naked teen standing right in front of me
figuratively and well...literally
So I've seen all the innocent and perverse
And we both know I've seen more through you than her
But I know my circumstance won't be altered
The anticipation of the day that will never come
When you can no longer condense in your pourus heart
The fuse thats formed between us
That is the infinately distant fantasy that keeps me alive
That is the day I hope to wake up to every 6:47 A.M. of the fucking week
But it's the way I know your heart forgets how to beat
When she goes to fix your hair
That makes me wish I could die...right in front of you
FIN |
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| 07:49pm 12/02/2004 |
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mood:  melancholy music: Novicane For The Soul- The Eels
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wow 2day i felt really taken for granted...really
i havent had my feelings hurt by a freind that much in a long time
it sux when friends dont think there not doing anything wrong and they do or say something really hurtful and u dont no how to tell them so u just let it go, then when they can tell u mad/sad they ask u wuts wrong and u say ur fine, i no i hate it when my freinds dont tell me wuts wrong but its hard not to b a hypocrite
im sure she did not mean to hurt me and im too sensitive |
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| 08:41pm 08/02/2004 |
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mood: exhausted music: Talk Show Host - Radiohead
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ill just say its been an intense & eventful weekend and just past couple of weeks, there was good, bad, and ugly
some people told me somethings that will change my view on them and relationships with them, i saw people act differently than i ever had b4, i changed as a person myself, my views on my freinds and family and myself have changed for better and worse.
another somewhat life altering thing that happened was i moved back into my house and so far i guess i like it
theres one person i just cant stop thinking of...
got no sleep this weekend |
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| scattered thoughts |
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| 12:01am 05/02/2004 |
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mood: groggy music: Love Song- 311
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it sux when everyone u no is connected in someway so u cant tell just one person w/o the chance of a bagillion other people finding out...so i just vent to inanimate objects in my room because i no they will never spread shit
i think my life follows a pattern casue one week i have good luck and the next bad luck, im still undecided about this week but if a certain arrangement goes wrong on fri i could be shunned by moses and grounded for life
i have to say for trying to not label myself and have others label me as an "emo" kid i do like certian "emo" bands and i spend a little too much time feeling sorry for myself
there is a 1 in 4 chance i will get raped tomorrow...good to no
it makes me mad when i get to no some1 just to find out they are either a hypocrite or that there is nothing behind their looks and courtasy laughs and dont have anything of substance to say...i just dont relate to people like that
i am disapointed in some1 i thought i new, and have discovered that male teen population has way to much in common that they no
soon i will post my poem about michael jackson
EDIT: my contest winning poem about michael jackson...be excited guys |
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| i sleep around guys |
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| 06:57pm 26/01/2004 |
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mood: satisfied music: "Sleep" - Dandy Warhols (dl it bitches)
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well this weekend was pretty much exactly wut i needed. i must say at the moment i am pretty damn content
thurs- did pretty well on my finals i think, i love the way our whole fucking class basically cheated on bio, then came home slept, went to noels and her nicole and i went to the batting cage, we got to do everything 4 free casue noels cousin works there, then nicole left, noel and i had "maggie mush" and searched for a llama farm. when we got back 2 her casa we talked and i saw pics(twas nice), i slept over
fri- noel and i kinda lounged then got ready 4 mass, went to dinner w/ katie,noel,anne then we went back to annes and looked at pics, watched transvestite movie, anne made a rap w/ stuffed animals, slept over
sat- ate breakfast, left annes and went to art class, got home and got ready for father daughter dance, went to the dance, it is funny beyond belief to watch everyone and there dads dancing but especially watching your own dad dance
sun- organized my room w/ 2 random women, went to marisas and waited for anne, went to the grove(NO1 was there it was empty), ate at johnny rockets, saw along came polly witchg is definitely worth seeing, walked around, went back to marisas and watched movies and such, fell asleep to great song
today- pizza 4 breakfast, benny & joon(jd is life),white oleander, left marisas at 5ish, just did laundry, gonna eat, g2 bed early
i am a very sleepy girl
FIN |
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| just needed to let this out somewhere, dont read this if u have add, i no i wouldnt |
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| 12:09am 22/01/2004 |
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mood:  contemplative music: One Headlight- Wallflowers
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it is the few that know me as a whole that i take for granted, it is the many that know me as one part that i sacrifice for, but the many who no me only as one part i can only love you with the one part you know, and the few who know me as a whole well i can love you with the whole person i posess
tonight i truly realized how fucked i am. i am happy, but fucked up. in a way im glad the ppl i usually hang out w/ would prob not have the patience to read through this journal cause right now i feel like being frank. i dont think they would be hurt or angered in any way its just they wouldnt understand. and thats exactly it-they dont quite understand me, but hey very few ppl do. this really isnt a big problem because my friends have brought me so much happiness and optimism. i just wonder sometimes how they would react if they got to know every side of me. i do love them as freinds and i like who they are as people in general, most of all i love to hang out with them. it is just hard sometimes because i want to become closer with them but they arent willing to share more with me and i dont think that they would understand anything i would share with them. i dont need them to even understand just be understanding and not intollerant. i like to know everything about my friends, and i wish they new a little bit more about me. it is just my nature to become very close with my friends. myabe i am not the type of person they would not want as a close friend but even if i never get any closer to them i wish they knew that i am ALWAYS willing to listen to their problems even if they never want to hear one of mine, my ears are always open and my cell phone is on all nite, and they could share anything with me and i would never turn away < and thats what my close freinds already no and take advantage of. when a friend confides in me that is one of my personal greatest forms of flattery. this is different-not bad just different and so far ive been happier than i had been for a while so im gonna try not to blow it. as for the deeper problems,feelings,subjects i have on my mind i can go to the people who would be able to handle them. i dont want to change those friends i just wish they knew there was more to me... |
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| 07:05pm 21/01/2004 |
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mood:  pissed off music: "Moonlight Sonata"- Beethoven
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wow ive never felt a stronger urge to go out with rifle in hand and shoot short middle-aged asain ladies in my life.
yea ms. shoji (jap teacher) is starting to have an amazing resemblance to saitan rite now cause she doesnt put a motherfuckin scantron on her finals and i made about 500 flash-fucking-cards last night...k im getting a lil vermished so ima stop talkin bout her
moving on...i lost my othello book(yay 4 me) so im screwed cause i get 0 out of 50 points for that assignment, and have yet to memorize ANYTHING having to do with biology. um if this weekend doesnt rock my world ima have to shoot myself in tha face...but inspite of all this i believe that yaweh is with me in this time of struggle and despair
ok well enuf anger...heres something black and beautiful to look at
http://www.templeofblackjesus.com/mini_black/sell_mini_black/black_intro3.jpg |
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| righteous |
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| 05:20pm 17/01/2004 |
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mood:  creative music: sparks-coldplay
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this week was hell but it ended well(rhymes)
thurs- ellen was awsome, watch it mon and were in the audience, she took the shirt we made, hot guest star, good food
fri- hectic, turned a lot of shit in, watched soccer game and they won, our "study group" was awsome, basically cause we didnt study but it was good bonding time, but uh my mom called and yelled at me wich kinda spoiled it
2day- art class was amazing cause my teachers said they have totally believe they can get me into an art school, and i got accepted into the cal arts program, i start making my portfolio next sat, thats all i wanted- someone to bleive in me
at the moment- some coldplay and finals |
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| "y dont u go sit in the corner with ur thumb up ur ass k? thanx" |
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| 12:16am 15/01/2004 |
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mood: sleepy music: Cosmic Dancer- T-Rex (Billy Elliot is life)
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problem #1 i um dont have lj friends, lets put it this way- if i had as many lj friends as i do in real life i would b rotting in hell right now cause i would have died from boring weekends with no1 2 talk 2
problem #2 my head hurts because i got smacked in the face witha bible this morning
problem #3 my tampons too big : (
problem #4 no i am not done with my hw yet
problems 1+2+3+4= becca is distraught
o ya, good thing- im goin to ellen tomorrow w/ NORMA after school
Fin. |
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| 09:54am 11/01/2004 |
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mood: exhausted music: "All Deliberate Speed" Mae
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this week = major stress
mon, tues, & wed seemed like a lot of work but in a way kinda enjoyable then thurs was shit i lost somethin real important & failed three tests
fri- was awsome cause i love my friends who celebrated my 2nd b-day so i got balloons and cookies and cards and shit, then we went to jerry's for bowling and dinner, then walked our asses to codstone and on the way we saw a guy jackin off in his car and...met none other than nicholas fucking cage and took a pic w/ him(its not on my camera)
eating
my kinda mustard
noel flares her nose
noel=stoned, anne=serious, katie is neither
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] jfd3">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] this week = major stress mon, tues, & wed seemed like a lot of work but in a way kinda enjoyable then thurs was shit i lost somethin real important & failed three tests fri- was awsome cause i love my friends who celebrated my 2nd b-day so i got balloons and cookies and cards and shit, then we went to jerry's for bowling and dinner, then walked our asses to codstone and on the way we saw a guy jackin off in his car and...met none other than nicholas fucking cage and took a pic w/ him(its not on my camera) eating <img src="http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v41/xeyexbitex69/bowling2.jpg" alt="jfd" /> my kinda mustard <img src="http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v41/xeyexbitex69/bowling.jpg" alt="jfd2" /> noel flares her nose <img src="http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v41/xeyexbitex69/bowling5.jpg" alt="jfd5" /> noel=stoned, anne=serious, katie is neither <img src="http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v41/xeyexbitex69/bowling4.jpg"jfd3" /> hot man in the middle <img src="http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v41/xeyexbitex69/bowling3.jpg"jfd4" /> kosher hot dog <img src="http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v41/xeyexbitex69/bowling6.jpg"hotdog" /> sat- tea w/ my mum, crespi dance w/ mia, chex, shelby,met some others there, slept at mias, forgot to take pics when we were all dressed our feet and the gum <img src="http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v41/xeyexbitex69/crespi.jpg"crespi" /> pjs at mias <img src="http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v41/xeyexbitex69/crespi2.jpg"crespi2" /> <img src="http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v41/xeyexbitex69/crespi3.jpg" /> today- hw and shit, had to wake up early FIN |
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| y am i still up?..... |
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| 12:13am 06/01/2004 |
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mood:  awake music: "Soundtrack For Our Movie" - Mae
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ya so school again, wut a bitch, but it was actually not bad and i got to hear bout every1s vaca
-out of me, noel, nicole, i was (of ocurse) the only one who got a detention 4 my moccasins and uh no1 ever told me u werent allowed to wear em
-got my bday present from marisa
-noel gave us wooden fruits w/ beatles inside, which amused us o so much that fruit was the main topic of discussion at lunch
-mr muir thinks im "on grass"
-spent all of math watching chris takie pics & videos of mr fabregas
-spent the whole night doing my fuckin english essay, o wait...im still not done which is y im posting this i cant fight my add
FIN. |
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| 12:24am 03/01/2004 |
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new years
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| thought u all should no... |
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| 01:05am 30/12/2003 |
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GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.
SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.
DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.
THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie! |
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shes_falling_up's journal